Shadows from the past
by Kadaj
Summary: She was settled. She had a boyfriend, she worked in his flower shop, and she had finished her journey. Life was good. However, when Proton wanders into her flower shop one evening, his eyes full of mischievousness, she knew that her life was about to take a 180. She may have left out every mention of the ex-Rocket to her darling boyfriend...
1. One fairy tale

One year already, huh?

Tentatively, the young woman sprayed down the various hanging flowers above her. Her fingers lovingly ran over the soft, wet leaves; it was a comforting feeling that she was very much used to. Lyra set down the hose with a smile. She figured she was doing pretty well in life. She had finished her journey, beaten the Elite Four, defeated all the gym leaders in Kanto, and now had a nice little part time job in a flower shop.

Her heart felt warm as his arms wrapped around her waist.

Oh, and her boss happened to be her lovely boyfriend Gavin.

"Hm…I think I may have to report you for employer sexual harassment if you don't stop, Gavin," she teased, plucking his arms off her waist. The twenty-four year old let out a hearty laugh, and spun her around quickly. Lyra closed her eyes as the brunette cupped her face in his hands. They were warm and rough, calloused from years of hard labor.

"You've been working for four days straight. Isn't it time for a break?" She opened her blue eyes, blinking. Tanned and handsome, he smiled down at the twenty one year old. Every time he looked at her, she felt like her breath was just ripped out of her lungs and deposited in the town next door. He was rugged. He was dreamy. He was sweet.

Shit, how the hell had she even managed to land him in the first place?

"I need to be doing something…I don't want to be bored at home," she droned, giving him a playful push to his broad chest. Of course he didn't budge. The man was built like an ox. Gavin gave her a dramatic sigh, running his hands through his long brown hair. Lyra resisted the urge to reach up and fix his ponytail; it was a completely mess. Nothing had really changed since they had been children growing up together in New Bark Town. Gavin was still the goofy sweetheart she remembered, and she was still the tomboy smartass that he remembered. Never in a million years had she thought that they would've reconnected the way they did when she got back from Kanto. It was an instant connection.

"Well, guess that's what I get for falling in love with a Pokemon trainer, huh? You always gotta be moving." Lyra rolled her eyes, but kept the grin on her face. She bent down, picking up a basket of leaves she had trimmed off some of the lower flowers. She looked over her shoulder before she left the main floor of the store, sticking out her tongue as she did so.

"Yeah, well you better get over that!" It really was like a dream. Everything was so perfect. Everything was so happy…

But to be honest…she really was pretty bored.

Lyra set down the basket on a table, frowning. It was hard to go back to a stationary life after traveling nonstop for months. Her year had been full of adventure, laughter, tears…and hell, just about anything else you could think of. She had accomplished so many things that she had only dreamt of; she had even saved the world from the wrath of Team Rocket.

Team Rocket…

Her thoughts drifted. The majority she had come across were just simple grunts; they were pretty easy to take down. However, as she got deeper and deeper into the organization, she came across the Executives. They were hard. They were cold…

And one of them had definitely left an imprint on her mind.

To be frank, he terrified her when they first met. She was just a newbie trainer, and here she was, coming across one of the cruelest and toughest members of Team Rocket. After they had met in the Slowpoke Well, she figured that was it.

She had been so wrong.

Coming across Proton had started to become a regular thing. Gradually, she grew a pair, and stopped cowering every time she saw him. He, on the other hand, grew more and more interested in her. At first, he would only look at her in a predatory way, as if she was some easy meal that he was just aching to devour at any given moment. However, as time passed…things changed. No longer was that predatory look in his eyes; no longer was she afraid. Instead, they teased and taunted, each meeting becoming more and more light-hearted than the last.

Eventually, he tried to kiss her.

She was taken aback, of course. She shoved him off, screaming; he pinned her down, his gaze steely.

"_Calm down, Lyra," _ he had said firmly, holding her wrists down with ease. She didn't want to hear it. She was angry.

She had enjoyed that kiss and she hated herself for it.

She had screamed until her throat went raw, her voice unheard in the large forest they were in. Tears had fallen freely down her cheeks; she laid there in the dirt, panting, while he watched her silently. It had been the most painful moment of her life. She wanted nothing else but just to take back everything. Take back all the looks, all the flirts, and all of her feelings. He was nothing but a petty criminal; she wasn't supposed to be falling for him.

After that, there was no more teasing. They treated one another as enemies. Proton was particularly cold; when she had beaten him in the Radio Tower, he had thrown down the keycard at her feet, scowling. He had left without another word, leaving her to face Archer and finish things off. It had hurt more than she liked to admit it, but she knew things would have to be this way.

After all, she wouldn't have ended up with Gavin if it hadn't.

"Hey babe, how about chicken marsala for dinner?!" Gavin's voice broke her from her thoughts. She perked her head up, smiling slightly. He was a good cook; Lyra was not. Thank god for that.

"Sounds good!"

"Then you better hurry up; I'm closing the shop in an hour!" She laughed, grabbing the broom that was leaning alone against the wall of the backroom. She'd give in tonight. After all, it was Gavin's birthday in a few days; it was the least she could do. Lyra began to hum quietly as she brushed away the scattered remains of the plants, her thoughts whirling. Now, what to do for his birthday… "Ugh, I forgot to drop this off at the bank. I'll be right back, Lyra!"

"'Kay!" she responded back cheerfully, setting the broom back in its proper position. Easy enough. She wiped her hands on her apron, heading back towards the main store room. She could at least finish up in here; Gavin still had a lot to do, after all. Her ears perked up as the bell to the store tinkered. A customer maybe? She moved around some of the taller shelves, placing a smile on her face. "Hello! How can I help…."

Her mouth clamped shut as piercing green eyes connected with hers.

"Hello there, pet."


	2. Get the hell out of my shop

AN: Thank you for the reviews!

It had to be a dream right?

Surely the ex-Rocket from her past wasn't standing in her store, his eyes just as piercing as she remembered, and a smile that could kill. No beret hid his face from her any longer; no, if she hadn't known who he was, she would have no idea that he had been one of the cruelest members of Team Rocket before they had disbanded. He oozed confidence. His sideways glance remained on her alone, and she suddenly felt really uncomfortable.

"I…what…why?" she bumbled out her words like a simpleton, her brain not being capable of stringing together anything that made sense at that moment. His lips curled upwards into a smirk that she was very familiar with; it made her heart race. Suave. That word kept popping into her mind. A black button down, black pinstripe slacks, and dress shoes…he was the epitome of suave. She needed to look away; she couldn't bring herself to rip her gaze from him.

"Yes, it has been a while, hasn't it?" he chuckled, cocking his head to the side while he watched her every move.

"I…um…did you need some flowers?" she mumbled, going around to the other side of the desk and taking a seat on the old wooden stool, her hands slightly trembling. She waited expectantly for him to say something, but he remained silent; instead, he began to circle the store, running his fingers across the plant life that encompassed it.

"Oh Lyra…" he drawled as he disappeared behind a particularly large shelf. Mentally, she cursed herself for not bringing her Pokemon with her today; she had left them in the Daycare for a nice play date with Whitney's Pokemon. She had no idea how he would act towards her now; what if he was still angry? "Honestly, stop playing dumb. What are the chances of me finding you in this one shop in Goldenrod? Hm?" He had a point. He had finally finished his prowling of the store, and now advanced towards her and the register.

She clenched her fists in her lap, hoping to hide the shaking of her hands. Why was she so nervous? She tried not to jump as he leaned casually onto the desk, resting his chin in the palm of his hand thoughtfully. She had to look away, locking her gaze to the register sitting on the corner of the wood.

"Looks like you've set yourself up for a pretty boring life here-"

"It's not boring!" she rudely cut him off before he could say anything else. Proton showed no show of surprise, merely smiling as she seethed. "I'm happy here! I've got a great job, a great _boyfriend_, and an awesome home." She made sure to emphasize the word 'boyfriend'; better to get it over with now rather than later. She wasn't available to have her emotions toyed with. It was as simple as that.

"It sounds boring as hell," Proton suddenly sneered, his tone turning dark. She flinched as he reached out, grabbing her chin roughly in his hand. She didn't move; how was she supposed to know if he had that knife on him still? He forced her to look at him; reluctantly, she complied. Expecting nothing but cruelty in his eyes, she was surprised by how soft they were. Though his face held nothing but contempt, his eyes were so far from this, she was finding it hard to believe.

"Why did you come to find me?" she whispered so softly that she knew he would be the only one to hear it. He struggled for a moment; she almost thought he wouldn't answer.

"Because I needed to," was his simple response. Her heart started to pound; her hands began to sweat. She shut her eyes, willing the problematic symptoms to go away.

"Alright, I'm back!" She immediately ripped her face away from his grasp as Gavin's voice broke the awkward silence. Proton looked irritated. "Oh? Late night customer? I hope she's been a good employee to you!" he laughed, walking up to the desk and leaning against it casually. Lyra held her tongue, silently hoping, praying that Proton would reveal nothing. Gavin didn't catch the awkwardness held between them…somehow. Perhaps her boyfriend was denser than she gave him credit for.

"She's been a pleasure," Proton drawled, his eyes still locked onto Lyra firmly. "But unfortunately…you guys don't seem to have what I'm looking for right now. Maybe you'll get it in later?" His references were so obvious that Lyra wanted to scream. She shot him a warning look; he smirked back in response. Gavin had finally noticed.

"Uh…something I'm missing here?"

"No," she quickly interjected, hand fumbling to find Gavin's. She squeezed it reassuringly, giving him a shaky smile. "He's just giving me a hard time. Just someone I met on my journey last year." Please don't say anything, she mentally begged. Proton let out a low chuckle; her hear t sank.

"Yup…just someone she met a long time ago." She almost sank to the floor in relief. She hadn't told Gavin about Proton. How could she? The whole situation was preposterous.

That…and Gavin absolutely despised Team Rocket with every fiber of his being. They had been responsible for his dad's death a few years ago. When he had learned Lyra had been responsible for disbanding them, he had literally sunk to his knees, and began to weep in relief. All she could do was just pull him to her and hold him, her heart aching. She didn't want him to go through something like that ever again.

To her surprise, Proton suddenly pivoted on his heel. He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes wandering from Gavin to Lyra herself. A small wink.

"I almost forgot. I have somewhere to be tonight…maybe I'll see you two around another time?" Asshole. That was directed only at her; she knew that for a fact. Gavin, oblivious to the tension in the room, nodded with a big smile on his face.

"Sure! Have a safe night!" As Proton began to leave the store, her heart finally slowed down to a normal pace. Only when the bell tinkered did her relief completely sink in. "You ok, hun?" Almost too quickly she turned to him, planting a big smile on her face.

"Of course! Just a little tired!" Gavin smiled, brushing away a strand of her hair that had fallen into her eyes, lovingly. She melted into his touch, her worries momentarily forgotten. She had her fairytale. It was right here. She wouldn't let any shadows from her past ruin the sunshine that was constantly hanging above her head.

* * *

It wasn't surprising when she found herself unable to sleep that night. She tossed and turned until she finally gave in and got up. Her feet touched the cold hardwood floor; she shuddered, rubbing her arms. Silently, she got dressed into a pair of jeans and a shirt, slipping on her sneakers carefully. She chanced a look back at the sleeping Gavin. He was passed out, sprawled out underneath the comforter; it brought a smile to her lips. She grabbed her Houndoom's Pokeball off the table, strapping it to her belt.

It wasn't cold outside, just a little brisk. Fall would be setting in soon. She released Shadow onto the pavement, giving the Pokemon a little pat as he emerged. He nuzzled her hand, licking it as she continued to pet him lovingly.

"Let's go for a walk, boy." They walked down to the Radio Tower, to her favorite spot near the water. She perched herself onto the railing, letting her legs dangle over the lake. It was peaceful here after hours; the lights from the Radio Tower reflected beautifully onto the liquid, dancing among the small ripples in the lake. It was her thinking spot.

She never liked to trouble Gavin with her own nightmares. He had enough as it was. His were filled with his dad's death, replaying over and over in his head like a video tape. So when it came to Lyra's own restless dreams, they were nothing compared to his. Though he would have disagreed, she felt like hers were not worth waking him up. Instead, she would just go out and sit by the lake till she felt sleepy enough to go back to bed. Gavin never noticed; her plan worked pretty nicely.

Shadow laid down at the railing, curling up into a ball. She always brought him with her on these walks; it was better to be safe than sorry. Goldenrod was a nice city, but it was still a city. There would always be crime around, even without a big organization like Team Rocket slinking around in the background. She jumped as Shadow suddenly let out a vicious snarl. She quickly hopped off the railing, clutching onto it tightly as he growled into the darkness.

Figured it'd be him.

"It's ok Shadow…relax." He only knew him from Team Rocket; of course the Pokemon was distrusting towards the green haired man. He wouldn't stop growling; she had no choice but to recall him. Proton stepped closer after the Houndoom disappeared, an eyebrow raised.

"Is it a habit of yours to wander around cities at three am alone?" She scowled at him.

"Do you make it a habit to somehow end up in the same place as me?" she countered back, her tone biting. Proton gave her a lopsided smirk.

"For once, I wasn't following you, pet."

"Don't call me that," she muttered, her tone warning. Proton scoffed, before wandering over to her, leaning his back against the railing. She tensed; he noticed. Gavin was nowhere near as perceptive as Proton was; perhaps it was years of being in Team Rocket that had given him the edge on everyone.

"I'm simply revisiting old memories."

"And I can't sleep."

"Funny how those two coincide, hm?" he pointed out, his tone light-hearted and teasing. She wasn't in the mood for the teasing. Bitterly, she moved to leave; Proton quickly grabbed her arm, rooting her in place.

"Why show up now? When I'm happy?" she demanded without facing him, her tone cold.

"And why did you push me away when I tried to kiss you?" She froze, speechless. She couldn't just answer that simple question. If she answered it, she could compromise her entire relationship. Her chest hurt. She held a hand to her heart, biting her lip. She wanted the pain to stop.

"Because you were supposed to be my enemy."

"I know." She turned to him, violently, her eyes blazing. He wasn't surprised. He kept his grip on her arm, silently, watching her. She was so torn. Why wouldn't he stop looking at her like that?

"Then why did you try to change things!?" she finally blurted out, her voice strained with pain that she had locked away for so very long. He suddenly yanked him to her chest, forcing her into an awkward hug. She tried to pull away, fighting him, scratching, doing anything she could to get him to let go. He wouldn't budge; his grip was iron.

She couldn't fight anymore. Her body was physically exhausted. She fell against his chest, panting. He still did not move.

"I-I'm so happy with Gavin…I'm in love with him…"

"Lyra, why did you push me away?"

She lost it. She began to sob, pounding her fists hard against his chest. He was so lanky, so thin. He was nothing compared to Gavin, and yet he had just as much strength as her boyfriend possessed. They were night and day. She clung to his shirt, gathering it into her clenched fasts as she screamed up at him:

"Because I loved you, you asshole!"

"Lyra?" Her body felt like ice. The sweat began to soak her hands; she couldn't breathe.

"G-Gavin?"

She couldn't bring herself to turn around.


	3. Things better left unsaid

**AN: Yay reviews and favorites!**

"G-Gavin, I…" She couldn't bring herself to finish as Gavin began to cross over to the two. Her palms began to sweat profusely as he looked from her to Proton. Before she could even react, Gavin slung his fist straight into Proton's face, knocking him to the ground. Shocked, Lyra managed to regain herself quickly enough to intervene before Gavin struck again. She pushed him back as hard as she could as he started to approach the fallen ex-Rocket again, her body numb. "Stop it!" was all she could think of to scream as she stood in front of the green haired man, her arms out widely to the side. She was half Gavin's side; if he wanted to, he could easily just push her to the side. He looked conflicted, however.

"Lyra…move. I saw what happened in the flower shop. I was going to let it go…but…" As he admitted all of this, Lyra's heart sank; so he had heard everything. He had probably seen Proton grab her face too…which was ten times worse. She cast her eyes back to the green haired man behind her. He was simply rubbing his jaw, his eyes locked firmly into a glare directed to her boyfriend. Had she not been there, she was pretty sure Proton would've jumped Gavin by this point. She directed her attention back to Gavin.

"No. Not until you let me explain." How she managed to make her voice so calm and level was beyond her. Inside, she was trembling like a rabbit. As he stared her down, his face slowly morphed into despair; her heart broke. She silently thanked him as he took a step away from the two, scowling as he did so. Gavin wasn't the type to argue; he didn't have much of a stubborn streak…unlike some other men.

Speaking of which. She turned her attention back to Proton, and stuck out a helping hand to get him to his feet. Her irritation sparked as he knocked her hand away, stubbornly leering at her as he got to his feet. He stared right past her as he wiped away the blood from the corner of his lip, unblinking. Seeing his hand fidgeting in his pocket, she moved to stop him; she halted as his hand emerged, empty handed. She let loose a breath she had been holding; she had thought for sure he would have brought out a knife at this point…

Gavin turned back to her, his face filled with expectation. She didn't really know what to even say at this point, so she simply reached out, placing a hand on Gavin's tanned skin; surprisingly, he jerked it away from her. She couldn't conceal the hurt that flashed across her face.

"I'm waiting, Lyra."

"She wanted me a year ago. That's all. Get the fuck over it." That sent Gavin over the edge. She grunted as she was forcibly moved to the side by Gavin, who then went straight for Proton's throat; he held him easily off the ground by his shirt collar, saying nothing. Almost immediately, Proton's hand was suddenly filled with the blade he had been fingering in his pocket; he held it directly at Gavin's eye, hand calm and steady. Her boyfriend's face paled slightly.

"P-Proton…please, just put the knife down. Gavin, let him go!" Her voice was desperate and shaky; one false move, and her boyfriend could be dead on the ground. Neither budged. Heart pounding, she tried once more, her desperation growing. "He's right, ok!? I fell for him…but I decided not to go for him because…"

"Because?!" Gavin's voice was just about as desperate as hers was. Though he looked mildly shaken by the blade, he did not release the ex-Rocket. Proton himself was watching her expectantly. She knew what he was waiting for. She wouldn't give him the pleasure.

"Because I wanted to focus on my journey, ok?! There's nothing between us now. I haven't seen the guy in a year. Now put him the fuck down!" she spat out, her hands trembling. Though her voice was angry, she was frightened beyond anything. She watched anxiously as Gavin's expression contorted; he was struggling. Finally, to her relief, he released the Rocket, and took a step away from him once more. Proton slipped the knife back in his pocket; his eyes were locked onto Lyra, suspicion reflected in the green orbs.

"Let's just go home," Gavin muttered, gently grabbing her hand and tugging her along. She allowed herself to be pulled along. She felt the ex-Rocket's eyes piercing the back of her skull. One look back, and Gavin surely would've flipped. She held her breath, and kept her eyes forward. She had to do some major damage control.

So he was cute. So what? He was a Rocket, an ass, and just all around fucked up. She could just admire him from a distance; tease him every now and then. After all, she was single and free to do whatever the hell she wanted to. He didn't seem to have a problem with it; hell, he flirted right back twice as hard as she did. As they came across one another more and more often, their meetings became a lot more lighthearted. No longer did he frighten her; no longer did he seem to only want to cause her pain and fear.

She simply gave him a half-hearted glare as he stood across from her in the forest, his grin lopsided and charming. He wasn't the typical prince. No, he was tall, lanky, and hardly muscular. His eyes were piercing, and his features sharp. He was a cold kind of handsome, one that you would not want to end up in a back alley with. And yet, she found him utterly charming. As he began to circle her, her heart began to race.

"Why pet, we really should stop running into each other like this."

"Sounds like bullshit. Why would you ever want to stop running into me?" she teased him, pressing a delicate finger against his chest playfully. In response, he grinned wickedly, quickly grabbing her wrist and locking it into place. She figured he was just goofing off, until he began to lean in close to her, his nose tickling her own. Her heart began to pound harshly against her chest. Her throat began to dry. What on earth was he…

As his soft lips pressed against her own, her body went cold.

Honestly, she didn't know how to react. She stood, frozen, her eyes wide, as he continued to kiss her. Her mind was a whirlwind. This hadn't been what she wanted. She did not want anything serious. She just wanted fun. He was pushing things too far; he shouldn't kiss her this lovingly.

She panicked. She shoved him backwards, screaming; she struggled even more as he grabbed her wrists in an attempt to calm her down. She wasn't having it. She shrieked, trying to yank her arms out of his grasp as he pinned her down to the ground, a last ditch effort to get her to stop panicking. She couldn't stop the tears from pouring out of her eyes as she kicked her legs violently, trying in vain to kick the Rocket off her.

"Calm down, Lyra," he finally muttered to her, his voice empty and lacking of any emotion. Her screams began more and more quiet as her throat became raw from the consistent screaming. She was terrified. She had let him in too close. She wished she could just close her eyes, and he would disappear.

She panted, her throat burning with agony from the overuse. Proton merely stared at her in silence, his face a blank slate. When she finally settled down completely, her breath coming out in gasps, he released her wrists and climbed off of her. He walked away. Didn't say a word, didn't look back. He just left. She didn't budge from her spot. She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Well, she had got what she wanted.

Then why did she feel so empty?

* * *

"You shouldn't see him anymore Lyra. He seems dangerous." He refused to turn around and face her; instead, he busied himself with cleaning up the kitchen. She merely sat on the couch, awkwardly. She had tried to get up earlier to help him, but he rudely cut her off, forcing her back down on the couch.

"I wasn't planning on meeting him…" she finally admitted, her voice low with exhaustion. Ever since they had gotten home, there had been nothing but tension in the air. It was tiring. She jumped as Gavin suddenly slammed down the glass he was cleaning. She was surprised that it didn't shatter.

"He had a _knife_ on him!" Gavin spat, earning a slight cringe from the young woman. "You could've…you could've been hurt…" He wouldn't have pulled that knife out in the first place if you hadn't gone after him again, she added mentally. Why she was even defending the ex-Rocket, she had no idea. But though she had seen him messing with the blade in his pocket, he hadn't pulled it out until Gavin had physically lifted him from the ground. She was still confused as ever because of that. Proton wasn't the type to hesitate when it came to yanking out that damn thing. "Are you even listening?"

She jumped as she was pulled away from her rambling thoughts. Her boyfriend was leaning down over her now, his eyes reflection worry. Hesitantly, she reached out, placing a hand against his cheek. To her surprise, he leaned into her touch.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him. It's not something I'm proud of…" Oh, and he's an ex-Rocket. Want to add that in, Lyra? Her conscience was practically screaming at her. Now would definitely be the best time to admit it. She opened her mouth to speak once more, but stopped as Gavin's eyes closed peacefully. For the first time all night, he looked absolutely content. She swallowed nervously; perhaps it could wait. She could wait until Proton left town.

That is…if he even left.

The chances of Gavin finding out before she even got a chance to tell him exponentially increased. What if he never left? What if he was moving to Goldenrod? Guiltily, she watched as Gavin gave her palm a small, loving kiss; he got to his feet, and headed back into the kitchen. No, she thought silently. She wouldn't let Proton mess up something that was this good.

"So you said that you just went for a walk and ran into him at the Radio Tower? Why were you outside the Radio Tower, of all places?" Well, she supposed this truth would come out eventually.

"I uh…when I can't sleep, I go for walks there."

"At three a.m….alone?"

"N-no, I bring Shadow." A long deep sigh. She cringed. She knew he wouldn't react well; Gavin was a sweet heart, but he constantly worried about her well-being. When she had even brought up the topic of traveling another part of the world again, he had freaked out. Paranoia ran deep in his blood. He seemed to believe Team Rocket was just waiting out there to take her away. That brought about another reason to _not_ tell him about who exactly Proton was.

"Why can't you sleep?" She sighed. She knew Gavin would not want to hear the truth of it. Lying would do her no good, however; things would just get worse.

"Because…because I'm going stir crazy." Gavin set down the dishes quietly, and sent her a look that spoke nothing but disappointment. She continued, albeit a little reluctantly. "I spent months traveling the world, Gavin. I don't do well in one place. I need to keep moving. I'm going crazy just staying here in Goldenrod." Nothing. He kept quiet. She wanted to shut up, herself; she couldn't stop spewing out words. "I want to see Sinnoh. I want to see Hoenn. I want to see it all, and I want you to come with me!"

"Absolutely not."

"Gavin, look-"

"It's dangerous as hell out there, Lyra! You can't sit here and tell me that your journey wasn't full of threats to your safety!" Well…yes. She had been held at knife point several times by Proton, fallen through the floor of the Burned Tower in Ecruteak, been chased by a crazed legendary dog, almost drowned because of a red Gyarados in the Lake of Rage, and had been close to freezing to death on Mt. Silver. Gavin only knew about her taking down Team Rocket. If he knew even the half of it…

His overprotectiveness was beginning to turn stale, however.

"I'm not some caged animal, Gavin!" She had managed to stun him; he turned all the way around, his eyes wide. The truth had finally just hit her in the face. Proton had opened her eyes; she was practically locked in a tower, with no way of getting out. She bit her lip, distraught. "I belong…I belong out there. Whether you decide to come with me is your choice." Her eyes drifted to the belt full of Pokeballs on the side table. It was now or never.

She grabbed the belt off her table, and strapped it to her jeans. She heard no rebuttal behind her as she walked past him and went straight through the back door. Maybe he had given up. As her heart ached for her to go back, she rudely told it to shut up. She needed to get away. Her mind was determined; she would go to the magnet train. It would be the simplest way to get to Hoenn, considering the fact that they had recently opened a line to the area.

She slowed as she passed the Radio Tower; as expected, Proton was still there, staring out over the water. She knew she shouldn't go see him, but she changed direction anyways. After all, all logic was out the door tonight. She might as well step it up a notch. He casually glanced at the young woman as she approached, taking a long drag on his cigarette. She cringed inwardly as she saw the small cut on his lip from Gavin. No, she told herself. You need to focus, Lyra.

"I'm leaving Johto. I just thought I should tell you." Why the hell did she need to tell him, exactly? He wasn't her boyfriend, after all; he was just something from the past that had come back to bite her in the ass. He let loose a long stream of smoke, blowing it away from her.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"He's…uh…I don't think he's coming."

"You tell him I'm a Rocket yet?" She remained silent; in response, he merely snorted, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and smashing it into the ground. "How long have you been wanting to leave?" That came out of the blue. As she gave him a look of surprise, he scoffed. "I'm not stupid. As soon as I saw your face, I could see how unhappy you were stuck in that shop."

"T-That's not true! Gavin makes me happy!" she tried to argue, though she knew it was in vain.

"Yes, but staying in this town twenty-four-seven sure as hell doesn't. You're too antsy for that." As much as she wanted to argue with him about it, she knew she couldn't. He was one hundred percent right. "I'm assuming your overprotective boyfriend didn't want you to leave, and you finally said fuck it, and left, correct?" She huffed. She was getting tired of him being right about everything.

"None of your business."

"You're the one who told me you were leaving, Lyra," he said teasingly, his eyes sparkling with a hint of amusement. Goddammit, he was right about that too. "Well, before we go to Hoenn, I'd like to make a stop in Kanto over in Lavender Town."

"Oh ok…wait what?!" Proton let out a hearty laugh as the realization hit her hard. He was coming with her? Proton slinked an arm around her waist; she froze. Boyfriend. You have a boyfriend, Lyra. Pull away.

"I've never seen anywhere outside of Johto and Kanto. You're not the only one who's stir crazy, doll."

"I…but…if Gavin finds out-"

"Then let's not let him find out, hm?" He winked at her. She felt absolutely terrible. Though she just wanted to turn around and run home, she did just the opposite. As Proton began to guide her to the train, she made no move to resist.

What the hell was she doing?


	4. Hoenn

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"This place…it's so…"

"Sad?"

"That's one way to put it," Lyra remarked as they passed several old buildings, each one more decrepit than the last one. She forced herself to look away from the town's inhabitants, finding them nothing but passing despair that just added to the heavy aura of the town. It freaked her out, to be honest. She had never really been around anything like this; it was unnerving. Unconsciously, she found herself drawing closer to Proton as they passed a particularly angry looking older man.

"Relax, we're here." An old sign caught her attention, the letters worn and weathered. House of Memories? What on earth was that? What had she even let herself get dragged into?

As they stepped inside, her questions were all answered at once. Hundreds…if not thousands of graves were scattered across the floor. It was essentially an indoor cemetery. She felt nothing but remorse for the visitors, whose tears spilled freely across the floor. Lyra herself had been lucky enough to not lose anyone in her life quiet yet…so who had Proton lost? She shifted her gaze up to the ex-Rocket; his face gave nothing away. There was no way to tell what he was even thinking. He was blank, impassive…hardened.

She slowed as he did in front of an unmarked grave. Many old roses had been laid here; their age showed commitment to whoever had placed them in the first place. Someone had been coming here for a while. As Proton pulled out a single yellow rose, she shut her mouth. He laid it down silently, eyes glued to the stone. As much as she wanted to ask the man what exactly was lying in the grave, she kept quiet. It was not her business.

"My Mightyena." She couldn't stop the gasp that escaped from her lips; her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes wide in shock. Her body went cold. As Proton laughed bitterly, her stomach twisted into knots. "Died protecting me from some people who found out who I was. Guess I deserved it, huh? I am a criminal after all." The only amount of emotion present in his voice was a hint of bitter sarcasm. She lost it. She broke down, sobbing, keeping her mouth covered by her hands in a desperate attempt to lessen her noise.

"I don't care who you are," she finally sobbed out, causing the Rocket to glance her way; she ignored the shock that flashed across his face. "So you were a criminal. Who cares!? You're-you're human, Proton! And because of that…because of that, you deserve just as much happiness as anyone else."

"Why are you crying, Lyra?" She sniffed, wiping her nose in an unladylike way. Someone had to do it for him. He wasn't capable. He built it up all inside, and didn't let it loose like he should. She reached out to him, taking a hold of his hand. It was cold, smooth…and it gently grasped hers back.

"Because sometimes, you just need someone to cry for you."

* * *

"Why did you ask me to go with you?" She broke the silence that had been going on for the past hour on the train. Proton looked at her out the corner of his eye.

"Why not?"

"No, don't give me that bullshit answer," she snapped back immediately. This only earned her a small smirk from the green haired man, adding to her frustration. He got a kick out of her getting pissed; it was like his high or something. She scooted closer to him on the train, and jabbed a finger against his chest. "Be honest." Proton sighed, leaning his head back against the wall; he shut his eyes, his expression peaceful. She caught herself staring. Gavin was just as handsome as him…but it was a different kind of handsome. Gavin was easy to read; Proton was like a complicated book full of hundreds of different languages. Every time she learned something new about him, she was rewarded with another hard to decipher secret.

"To be honest…for the first time in years, I was tired of being alone." She was surprised when she felt his hand on her own. The guilt pushing on her heart was suffocating. If her boyfriend could see her now, she had no doubt in her mind that he would be furious, judging by last night's antics. She didn't have the heart to pull away, however.

"Oh Proton…" was all she could think of saying. It was enough, however. Eyes still closed, she caught a small smile that flash across his lips for a split second. Her heart went out to him. If she had lost any of her Pokemon, she had no idea how she would go on. Her Pokemon were like family; when the rest of the world was against her, they were always faithful, always loving. Tentatively, she laid her head on his shoulder; she felt him tense in surprise, before he settled down. No one ever deserved that, she thought bitterly. Not even Proton.

"Welcome to Goldenrod!" the mechanical voice announced over the loudspeaker. She removed her head from his shoulder, staring sleepily. It was only late afternoon, but she had been up all night. Yawning, she got to her feet as Proton followed. They would have to wait a little bit longer for the train to Hoenn to arrive. It shouldn't be too long though…

"Lyra? I thought you had left already…" Surprisingly enough, Gavin was seated on a bench outside of the train, dark circles under his eyes. He looked just about as tired as she was. She approached him tiredly, uncertainly.

"I was just about to head to Hoenn…you were going to go?" Suddenly, his mood changed. His face twisted into a nasty scowl that looked foreign on the tan young man; she followed his eyes to the green haired man standing behind her. Crap, how could she have forgotten?!

"Why the hell are you with him, Lyra?!" She needed to stay calm. Getting in a fight with Gavin was the last thing she wanted to do. She took a deep breath, and faced him bravely.

"He needed someone to go with him to Lavender Town, Gavin. That's all." Her voice was calm and steady, despite the speed her heart was racing. Gavin did not press it any further; instead, he just sagged his shoulders in exhaustion and sighed.

"It's whatever. Look, I want to go to Hoenn with you." Before she could respond, Proton swiftly cut in.

"Sorry! Not enough room for three." She wanted to punch him. Evidently, Gavin did too. He got to his feet, gritting his teeth as he clenched his fists. She knew she was the only reason Gavin hadn't jumped him again. She was more than ready to jump in front of them, if the need came. She would take a punch to the face if it meant they'd stop going after each other.

"Really now?" he hissed, venom dripping from every syllable; Lyra resisted the urge to shudder. His anger was completely justified, as much as she wished it wasn't. She was his girlfriend, not Proton's. "I guess that means you can't go."

"How ironic, considering the fact that you're the one who said she couldn't go before," Proton quickly snapped back, his voice slightly trembling with a hidden anger. Proton was generally good about keeping his cool. Judging by the sound of his voice, she needed to do something quickly before things got out of hand.

"Well, I changed my mind. I'm her boyfriend, I can do whatever-"

"You can both go." Immediately, both men looked at her. She instantly wished she could've taken it back. Nervously, she began to wring her hands, not really knowing what else to do with herself. "Both of you can go…we…uh…let's just go ok?!" she blurted out just as the loudspeaker came on, announcing that the train to Hoenn had arrived. Thank god. She bolted onto the train as soon as it came in, well aware of the fact that the two were closely behind her. As she sat down, the two men sat on either side of her, their faces irritated and their voices silent. She squirmed.

Gavin suddenly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, tightly. From the corner of her eye, she could see Proton visibly twitch. Great. Why the hell had she suggested both of them? Oh wait, it's because she absolutely sucked at making decisions under pressure. She always ended up panicking and avoiding making that decision at all costs, which usually ended up biting her in the ass…kind of like now, actually.

"Hey, Lyra." She glanced over at Proton as he called out her name. She felt Gavin turn slightly as well. His voice was eerily cheerful. This wasn't good. She felt nothing but dread as she cautiously answered him.

"…yes?"

"Remember that time outside of Mahogany? When we ended up using each other as body warmth-"

"Do you like having a head, you piece of shit?!" Gavin spat out, his arm tightening on Lyra as he seethed. She cringed from the contact. She couldn't remember the last time she was ever this uncomfortable. Proton didn't need to respond back; instead, he just started to laugh mockingly. At this point, she wanted to escape from both men. She was supposed to be on a journey of self -discovery…not complete drama.

The train couldn't arrive quickly enough. As she stepped off the train, Gavin's hand instantly found hers. She suppressed a groan. Was this how the whole journey was going to be? Lyra wasn't the clingy, PDA type. Gavin knew that. It was pissing her off that he was doing it in the first place. When had he ever been this insecure about them?

Rustboro City. It was a town that looked old as dirt, with buildings that were made entirely of stones. It was quite beautiful, in its own way. She couldn't help but be overwhelmed. Johto was nothing like this, that was for sure. She began towards the gym, Gavin following insanely close behind her. She narrowed her eyes. Fuck it.

"I can walk on my own, thank you very much," she barked back at Gavin, albeit a little bit more harshly than she intended. Hurt flashed across his face; she regretted her words immediately. He squeezed her hand lovingly.

"I've just really missed you, babe." She softened. Inwardly, she sighed. All she could do was deal with it; she loved him too much to cause him anymore pain than she already had. From the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Proton smirk. It wouldn't have surprised her if he did.

"Proton?" All three trainers turned around at the sound of a man's voice. As she slowly began to recognize the purple haired man, she felt nothing but despair. Though he wore no Rocket uniform, Lyra had no problem recognizing Petrel. They had fought way too many times over her journey not to know him. Unconsciously, her hand tightened nervously on Gavin's as Petrel's eyes wandered from Proton to Lyra. "Why the hell are you with the chick who took down Team Rocket?" Her eyes nervously flitted from Petrel to Gavin. Gavin was confused; he creased his eyebrows downward, watching silently.

"Why does that matter?" Proton asked pointedly, his voice low. He had that warning in his voice that set off alarms in her head; Proton was very on edge right now, which meant that he was extremely unpredictable. He could go from completely cool, to a deadly, cold ice with looks to kill.

"Why? Because she's the reason we have no job now."

Her heart stopped beating at that moment.

"…What?"

Petrel looked back at Gavin as he blurted out that question. Lyra didn't even want to look at him. She could tell by the way he was gripping her hand that he was about to blow; it was almost painful. Team Rocket. The one thing on this planet that Gavin loathed with every fiber of his being. The reason his dad was dead. The reason his family was torn apart.

And finally, the reason their relationship was starting to crumble.

"You...you're ex Team Rocket members?"

"Yeah, what of it?" Petrel asked nonchalantly, an eyebrow raised in interest. Suddenly, Gavin ripped his hand from Lyra's grasp and tackled Proton to the ground. She let out a scream, moving to yank him off. Petrel roughly shoved her away, intervening himself. He grabbed onto Gavin's shirt, pulling him backwards; this earned him a fist straight into his face. He stumbled back, shocked, before his face twisted in anger. He jumped back in, slamming his fist into Gavin's gut.

Lyra freaked. She did the only thing she could do. She pulled out her Vaporeon's ball, released the creature, and shouted one command:

"Water gun!" The three men were immediately blasted with a torrent of water, sending them sprawling onto the dirt. At this point, onlookers had begun to gather. Nervously, she tried to avoid their prying eyes. The water had worked, however. Sputtering, Gavin got to his feet, his eyes aflame. "Calm the fuck down, Gavin!" she shouted, her voice quaking slightly.

"You lied Lyra…"

"I-I didn't lie! I just never…I never mentioned that part for a reason." She couldn't meet Proton's eyes. She didn't want him to see the downfall that was unavoidable at this point.

"How could you?! How could you associate someone like him!? How could you love-" He trailed off. Her breathing intensified as he paused, his eyes widening. "Lyra, do still you love him?" It was at this point that Petrel had made his getaway, silent as expected from an ex-Rocket. She was glad he left. He had only made things worse. He had revealed the one thing she had kept from Gavin-"Lyra, answer me!"

She didn't know how.

"Why does it matter who the hell I was?" Proton had finally spoken his part, his tone cool and leveled. He had begun to squeeze the water from his clothing, sneering slightly. "Maybe you should be more impressed with her than angry." His statement confused both her and Gavin.

"Why!?" Gavin snarled, shaking off some of the water from his shirt. "Because she fell for a no good, disgusting, criminal?!"

"Because even though I was the lowest of low, she still managed to see past that to see who I really was." Lyra was still confused. That wasn't what had happened at all. She had rejected him solely based on that fact.

"But Proton…I pushed you away because of that."

"And did it stop you?" she paused.

"Stop what?"

"Stop you from loving me." No, she wanted to say out loud. No, it never did. She wanted to scream it to the sky. She had kept it inside way too long. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't regret her decision. As Gavin's hand found her own once again, she couldn't bring herself to hold it back; instead, it just hung limply. Her feelings were betraying her. Proton was ripping open every wound that she had carefully concealed over the past year, and just displaying them out in the open for everyone to see.

She wished she had never left her house that night. Maybe then, she wouldn't have ended up in this damn complicated situation. Her and Gavin would be back in the flower shop, flirting, chatting, and living their lives. As much as she yearned for it, she knew that life was over. If she and Gavin even survived this, their relationship would never be the same. No, not when Team Rocket was involved, dissolved or not.

"What if we had met now, Lyra?" He continued on; she wanted nothing more than for him to shut up. "What if we had met under different circumstances? What if I had never been in Team Rocket in the first place?"

"Proton, stop it," she begged, as despair littered her voice like the plague. He refused to budge.

"Answer the question Lyra."

"Why should she have to!?" Gavin finally intervened. It had started to get to him, too. She could only imagine how much pain Gavin was in right now. She wanted nothing more than to just grab him and run. She also didn't want Gavin involved. This was her problem, not his.

"I can handle it, Gavin."

"Shut up, Lyra! You're doing a poor job!" That struck a nerve. She ripped her hand from his, seething. Gavin was momentarily stunned, but quickly regained his composure, reaching for her hand again. She swatted it away.

"No, _you_ shut up, Gavin!" He froze at the harsh tone spewing from her lips. It was the second time they had fought in the past forty eight hours; her tolerance was fading. She was so conflicted, and all she could do was take it out on the one man who had been a constant factor in her life for the past few months. "I still have feelings for you, Proton," she admitted quietly, her tone bitter; Proton's eyes brightened slightly. "But…Gavin is here now. I love him. I will stay with him-"

"No, you won't." It wasn't Proton who spoke these harsh words; it was Gavin, himself. Stunned, she looked back at her boyfriend, her eyes wide with fear. He would not meet her eyes, finding himself more content with the ground. "There will always be that part of me that will wonder if I'm really the most important thing to you Lyra. What you said just now only exemplified those fears."

"Gavin…look, don't. We can start over, things will be fine-"

"No, they won't," Gavin said harshly, clenching his fist. She felt her whole world shatter. "Because you have never looked at me the way you just looked at him." She was distraught. She stumbled to him, grabbing meekly for his arm. Though he didn't pull away, he didn't respond either; she didn't know which was worse.

"I love you so much, hun, please don't do this." Her lips trembled with every word. She felt pathetic, but it didn't matter. The impact of Gavin leaving had finally hit her hard; she was losing a part of her.

"But you love him more." She shut her eyes, swallowing harshly. She couldn't dispute it. It hurt like hell, like someone ripping out her heart with their bare hands. Gavin pulled away from her hands; she let him, dropping her arm limply. Gavin looked from her to Proton. "Just don't come crying back to me when he completely breaks your heart." And that was that. He just left.

She stared numbly at the spot her former boyfriend had just stood. Never had she imagined losing him would be this painful. She heard Proton's footsteps approaching.

"Go ahead," she muttered painfully, her voice cracking as tears began to fall from her chocolate brown eyes. "Go ahead and gloat."

"Why the hell would I gloat when you're so upset?" She spun around, her temper sparking.

"Because this is what you wanted, right?! You wanted him gone, didn't you?" Proton rolled his eyes. He moved to grab her arm; she yanked it away. Eye narrowing, he reached out quicker, this time easily capturing her; she made no more moves to rebel.

"Of course I did. But…not like this. Not…so painfully." He pulled her against his chest. Just like in the forest that one time, she fought. She tried to pull away; he held her tight. "I would've rather given you up, and be forced to watch your lovey dovey crap than to see you in this much pain, babe." Babe. That pet name he had given to her. The name he had used on her so many times when they had met. It reminded her of a simple time. It was a time with no feelings, no heartbreak, and no complications. She stopped struggling.

Her mom had once told her something that had stuck with her her whole life. It was a simple phrase, but one she tried to live by.

"So one door shut. So what? Every time a door shuts, Lyra, you sure as hell better be looking for the one that opened. Don't sit around and wait for things to happen; go find that new opportunity. Be a strong woman. Go for what you want."

She hurt. But was she defeated? No. In fact, she had been too blind to realize that the finish line had been a lot closer than she had thought. She raised her head. He stared at her, silently, eyes flicking back and forth as he examined every bit of her expression. Cautiously, she reached out a hand, and cradled his cool cheek. Proton's eyes softened.

"You make me question everything about what Gavin and I had," she admitted weakly, having no more strength to yell.

"Why's that?" he asked, though they both knew the answer.

"Because you can't love more than one man at a time. And Proton…I…"

"I know," he mumbled, his hand reaching up to clasp onto the one that was fondly stroking his cheek. Shivers went up her spine. Though she still felt the pain of Gavin leaving, something else was quickly replacing it. Something warm…something familiar…and something that had always been there. It was something that she had never forgotten, something that she had craved since the last time she had seen the ex-Rocket.

It was something so strong, that not even the relationship between her and Gavin could outshine it.

"I'm not ready yet, though. I just…can we just…wait a while before anything…you know." She cut herself off, fear overtaking her. She didn't want to scare him off; she just wasn't quite ready to jump into a relationship after just ending this one. Proton seemed to understand easily. He removed her hand from his face, but didn't let go.

"As slow as you want. Besides, we've got eight gyms to go through. If I don't have your pants off by then, then I'm doing something wrong," he chuckled. Normally, Lyra would've tried to slap him or say something sarcastically back. Not this time, though. Instead, she just gave him a weak smile of relief.

"Sounds good to me." She glanced back towards the gym. She probably should go fight the gym leader…but…she was so emotionally drained. Proton did not miss the sigh that escaped her lips.

"Morning gym battles are always more productive," he offered, his tone significantly lighter than it had been all day. She nodded tiredly.

"Yeah…I haven't slept in twenty four hours…I need a nap."

Proton laughed all the way to the Pokemon Center.


End file.
